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| Point Arena, CA |
Before 2010, I was a depressed young girl with very little hope in the world. I grew up with working middle class parents, great friends, excelled in a sport every season of the year, did well in school, always had food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. My childhood wasn’t perfect, but from the outside looking in, I had it all. Yet, I wanted none of it. I would sit by a lake in the woods across the street from my front yard and stare at the stillness of nature. The wind was soft, the leaves on the trees would slowly dance, and rocks would just be rocks and not move, which was great. I wished that life would move this slowly, and sometimes still do.
Words are hard for me, but not when I write them down. Poetry became a thing I attempted. One of my last poems I
wrote at that time in life was to God. I didn’t know God, I thought He was a made up
being that helped people feel better about their unfortunate lives, or just
some form of odd government. Either way, I wrote to Him. I begged Him to help
me believe in Him if He was actually real. I asked Him to give me hope
and faith because it was a very dark place to not have any. I entitled it,
“Help me Believe” and that is exactly what He did.
Fast-forward to
today, and conviction hits me in the face. Lately, I have been forgetting that
God simply asks us to believe. Jesus’ direct words, recorded by His disciples,
state to many people, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” These people
didn’t say a fancy prayer, go through confirmation, get baptized in the creek,
put on their pretty dress, feed 1000 hungry mouths, donate all of their money,
lalala, all before they came to him. They had faith, and He saw it, declared it
made them well, and said to go in peace. (Mark 5:34, Mark 10:52 , Luke 17:19)
It is then in
the Bible that we read it was the JOY set before Him to be beaten, whipped,
stabbed, mocked, NAILED to a cross, and killed all to create open access for us
to approach our Heavenly Father’s throne of Grace. (Hebrews 12:1-2) He did this
knowing so many people would still reject Him, mock Him, and want nothing to do
with His unfailing love. That was me before I asked Him to help my unbelief,
and I wasn’t the first to do so. (Mark 9: 23-24)
I could go on
and on about my story and His coming together, but mainly I wanted to write
about this conviction I’ve been having. Yes, initially, beginning a
relationship with Jesus starts with faith. THAT’S IT. Faith. But even in our (successful) Earthly relationships we continue to grow in friendship, intimacy, and
reverence as time progresses.
I feel, now, as
a follower of Christ I haven’t actually been following what He says to do. I
want to point fingers at the Church in America that seems to
preach comfort and grace alone, and
makes Jesus super fluffy and welcoming so that all will want a piece of that
pie. But really, I have a Bible, two eyes, and the capacity to read. So please
follow me in this if you wish, the words of Jesus are clear if you are to be
his disciple (student, follower..etc.) :
Matthew 10:37-39
“Whoever loves
father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or
daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross
and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and
whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 18:3-5
“Truly, I say to
you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom
of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,”
John 21:17
“The third time
he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus
asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things;
you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep.’”
Luke 12:33
“Sell your
possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not
wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near
and no moth destroys.”
Matthew 28:18-20
“All authority
in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of
all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the
Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And
behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Luke 9:23
“Then he said to
the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your
selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.’”
Matthew 22:36-39
“You shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is
like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Matthew 19:29
“
Luke 6: 27-31
“But I say to you who hear, Love
your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless
those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To
one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who
takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone
who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them
back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
Nowhere do I
find Jesus saying to store up treasures on Earth and get as much for yourself
as you can--stay comfortable.
No, instead there is a
common theme of denying selfish ways, humbling yourself, serving, and loving
others. Not in vain, but for the sake of Christ. Why would I want to do this?
Because Jesus thought I was worth dying for, so I think He is worth living for.
The same opportunity to follow Jesus is there for you, my pretty reader friend.
All it requires is faith. There is abundant love, grace, and mercy. But, there
is also abundant sacrifice, and suffering that may come. I can tell you first
hand Jesus is worth it. And I believe eternity in Heaven will be way worth it.
What happens
next for Ben and I? Only God knows. I’ll be sure to write about it when He
gives me the scoop.
Love from Laura.
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