Mikey's Story

A post for Grace Community Church, GEMs Ministry:
Every Sunday morning at 9:15 am, Kari O’Reilly is getting her steps in between totZone and kidZone. Why? Because she is a GraceGEMs Coach! GEMs is our ministry that walks side-by-side with families of children and young adults who are diagnosed with special needs– God’s Exceptional Miracles.

When I had the privilege of shadowing Kari, I assumed she worked with children in this field or had some experience of the sort. She sure did, but rather as a mother. Kari and her husband, Mike, were blessed with Mikey and Katie as their two children, one just happens to be on the other side of Heaven with Jesus now. This is part of his story, and it continues on today.

Mikey was 24 years old on October 23, 2015 when he had his “Angel Day,” as the O’Reilly family calls it. From the day he was born to the day that he became whole in Heaven, Kari never left his side, even though the doctors had told her not to even take Mikey home from the hospital because, “He won’t make it through his first year.” 

With an Apgar score of 2 out of 10, Mikey started seizing right away, his right lung collapsed, and they had to intubate him immediately before rushing him to the closest children’s hospital. Doctors had told Kari’s parents they would be calling to let Kari and Mike know that night that their newborn had passed away. Before dawn, Kari had this odd feeling to call the nurses and check on him. Mikey’s nurse told her, “I don’t know how to explain this to you, but Mikey’s lung has just completely re-inflated. He’s breathing on his own.” Kari’s dad said, “I know how to explain it: Your grandma has been on the phone all night calling every Christian she knows across the nation to pray for him.”

Mikey defied all odds despite his dismal prognosis of cerebral palsy, microcephaly, spastic quadriplegia and mental retardation. As he grew older, complications increased and were added to by a number of medical diagnoses.  He faced numerous hospitalizations: spinal fusion, hip surgeries, feeding tube placement, lung lobectomy and a number of other health related concerns. Finally, it all became too much. Kari stated, “Even though he was only 24, Mikey was like an 85 year old man inside from everything he had to go through, yet never progressed above a 6 month old level.”

So, can the Holy Spirit work in children like Mikey? Absolutely.

“Mikey led me to my salvation,” Kari proclaimed. She grew up in a family that said as long as you just believe John 3:16 to be true, you’re good. It wasn’t until September 1999, living at a new duty station with her husband deployed to a war zone and two small children, when Kari knew she needed more. She threw herself down on her family room floor and cried out to God, “I can’t do this anymore!” Her heart heard a soft reply, “I know, but I can.”  God had used Mikey to call her to Himself.

Kari knows that Mikey, and kids with similar challenges, have the same capacity to reach people for Jesus as any of us do, if not more. Through tears, she concluded, “Mikey went through more than what 100 people should go through. There were times it was flat out horrible. Yet, he would still try to make you feel better if you were down. He taught me, and all who were blessed to know him, what godly love truly is.” 

Mikey’s story is just one. We know there are many more, and GraceGEMs is here for you—whether to serve with or be served by! And to parents like Mike and Kari, we would love to walk by your side and believe in your child just as Christ does.

Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’” -John 9:3

Below are interview questions answered by Kari:

1. What was it like going to church with a child who was diagnosed with special needs?

Being a military family, we’ve been all over– California, Hawaii, Texas, Virginia, Arizona, Georgia, and Maryland. Our best experience was when the kids and I went to a small church in Georgia of about 200 people. Mikey tended to vocalize at the quietest part of a sermon. Our pastor never let it faze him and would just say, “Mikey says AMEN,” and then the whole church would say “Amen!” They had a special friends program through AWANA as well. Yet, I taught Sunday school in an old building without an elevator, so Mike had to stay home with Mikey, at least when he was not deployed. Mike was gone 2.5 out of 5 years in Georgia, starting when the kids were 3 and 8.

Nancy and Barry Mauldin were side by side with me and became our surrogate family. They were there. The church was there. In 2002, Mikey was rushed to the children’s medical center due to a severe case of acute pancreatitis, which placed him in a medical coma. All I did was call Nancy and say I need help. Katie basically lived with them for the 28 days while Mikey was in the hospital, and they had 3 daughters of their own. Church families took turns bringing us dinner; elders were there for us too. Specifically, Bill Small was a continuous source of support for Mike and I. He later baptized both kids—that’s another story, and box of Kleenex!

2. Why did you decide to become a GEMs coach? 

God had me learn a lot by taking care of Mikey, and even though my own mission work with him is done, the mission is still there. Taking what I have learned and being able to help other families is rewarding. It is giving reverence to what God had me learn, and it heals me by letting me keep Mikey in a sense. If you told me the day Mikey died that I would survive a month without him I would probably have given you “the look” –the heartache was just too immense.

Our Heavenly Father works all things to bring glory to Him. When Jill Maddox reached out saying she needed more volunteers with the GEMs ministry, I felt God was telling me this was a way I could honor my son’s memory, but more importantly, honor God. I’m not a teacher, doctor or therapist, but I understand what these families are going through because my family lived it. How could I not give back what God had given to me? 

3. What would be your biggest advice to families who have children with special needs? 

Let people help you. God is going to put people in your life for a reason, and you don’t have to be a hero by always saying, “I can do it, I got this.” Let others be there for you. It is OK to take some time for yourself. I didn’t do that enough. Yet, my mantra with Mikey was that I never wanted to look back wishing I’d done more for him.  But the line between “doing more” and exhaustion usually isn’t recognized until it’s been crossed.

One thing that has always stuck with me is that God never makes a mistake. He could have chosen anyone throughout the history of the world to be Mikey’s mom, yet he chose me. That is very humbling. What on Earth could I have done to have God gift me with such a miracle? Nothing! God gives as only He knows how to do.  He knew Mikey needed me just as much as I needed Mikey. My husband would be the first to tell you that Mikey is his hero. It’s true. Mikey was truly a blessing and I learned more from him– even though he never could utter a single word.

I would tell new parents to trust in God. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” This really was my cornerstone for all the years I was blessed to be Mikey’s mommy.  I pray other families understand that they were chosen by God to be this child’s parent! 

4. And your biggest advice to Grace families in general?

For people walking side by side with GEMs, I would emphasize empathy.  There are so many ways to bless a family with special needs. As rewarding as it is to work with the kids each week, I recognize it is not everyone’s gift. How about sending a card, taking them a meal, calling them and letting them talk without judging or even saying a word? Maybe you can help with their other children.  Katie adored her older brother and misses him immensely, but [she] would tell you that the next hardest thing to being the parent of a child with special needs is to be the sibling. I know what it’s like to feel desolate and alone, and I don’t want anyone to experience that. We are all part of the body of Christ.  When we sit back and do nothing while one of our brothers or sisters is in need we go directly against what God has commanded us to do. I’m reminded of what the Bible says in Matthew 25:40, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”  How awesome to be able to help these exceptional children and their families knowing it is bringing all glory to Our Father in Heaven!

–Laura Douglass, GraceStudents Intern: https://gcconline.org/mikeys-story/

Parents of children with special needs, Grace Community Church would love to connect with you: Contact gracegems@gcconline.org 

Arrive

Begin

Arrive

Brace yourselves for a sappy analogy: 

Today I sat in my final undergrad class. I half took notes, half read one of my books [of choice].

These 5 years in college have felt like walking/swimming, breathing under and through water...a large body of water; thus, why I felt these pics from San Diego, CA were appropriate.

I handed my shirt & purse to my homes, Cdra, and headed towards the water, while everyone else walked around it like normal people. I remember being excited as I began to step in, feet still steady on the ground. Then it got deeper and colder.

Now I'm in the middle of this lake on the verge of an anxiety attack. It felt like the cold, dark water blocked all of my breathing passages. The boats were a heck of a lot bigger when I'm just a little face floating on the surface. Mind = “Are there sharks in here, ‘cause I think my foot just touched one?!” I thought I was going to drown, and then I remembered I'm fully capable of swimming. Stop. Breath. Swim. Arrive.

College… same pattern. It didn’t come easy to me like walking around, but rather swimming through. From community college, to cosmetology school, back to community college, then to UMD, with altogether 6 different majors...there were many points I felt like I was drowning. I have always commuted-- never lived on campus. My pops and I had a financial deal (thanks for helping me graduate DEBT FREE, love you long time, you too Ma). I went to class full-time, went to work part-time, came home and studied, repeat. Anxiously awaiting to arrive. 

And so I have. 2 online finals and 1 written early Monday morning, and I am a college grad. The day is actually in sight. I’m not walking, because I already swam ;) [See how I did that?] But really, best way for me to celebrate is by being surrounded by my family and friends, picking some MD crabs, and drinking a cold one—not walking across a stage—personal opinions.

My Bachelor’s of Science degree will be in Family Science, along with a 90-hour Early Childhood Teaching Certification-- total of a 3.7 GPA. I have met people that I never would have met, learned things I never would’ve known, and challenged myself beyond any other challenge by going to college. Did I enjoy it? Most of the time, no. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Perseverance takes on a whole new definition for me. I didn’t quit, and that feels good.

To my 18-year-old, or however many year old, friends about to go to college + those currently in the cold, darkness of “I think I’m drowning”—you are not, you will make it, it is worth it if you have been given this opportunity. Arrive.

Then do it again.

My next arrival point is the most exciting opportunity I have ever been offered. And it is only because I got through these 5 years first. Stay tuned reader friends, I cannot wait to tell you!

Love from Laura.

Ps. Thank you to my wonderful husband, Benjamin [Ben-ha-mean], who helped me get through this final year by allowing me to focus on my school work, rather than that cash-money $$$ work. You da you da best. And SHOUTOUT TO JESUS the real MVP keeping me sane with his peace that the world doesn't offer me, heyyyyyy. 

"Let Me Be Your Mirror"

Make-Up,

Because apparently you’re looking down.

Turtle Bay, Hawaii : All Naturrrralll

Bags under your eyes

That have short and thin lashes

Pinkless cheeks

Accompanied by a blemish

Or two times a few

Lips of natural color

Should be duller or brighter

Are you sick?

You look tired today.

Thought you were a boy, but then I saw your hair.

Curled hair, or straightened

Change to what you don’t have

Color with lightener

Touch up those roots

What does your natural hair look like?

You don’t even know anymore…

nor do you want to.

Shave this

Tuck That

Suck it in

Burn the fat

Shorter than average

Add a heel

Too tall

Make ‘em flat

Flat like a board

Push ‘em up

Top heavy tipping over

Cover ‘em up.

Make-Up,

Because apparently you were looking down.

A few weekends ago, Ben and I went to the MAC in Bmore where he’s a member. We swam half a mile, and it felt so good! Afterwards we went on a little adventure to Artifact Coffee, which tasted so good! Yet, in between the two I showered and got ready for the rest of the day. I was debating between wearing my hair naturally curly by air drying, or blow drying it straight. I went with curly because I didn’t want to make Ben wait another hour...

Then I started putting on my make-up: concealer around the eyes, bronzer for the cheeks, sparkles for the eye lids, and lastly mascara for the lashes. When I was on this last step of mascara a little girl came in from the pool to get ready as well. She walked up to the mirror next to mine, looked at me putting on make up, went up on her tippy-toes to see herself, looked at her face intensely, touched her cheek, and fixed a crease in her hair, looked at me again, then headed to the showers. I felt a small whisper of my heart tell me, “They’re watching.”

We are telling girls to be all that they can be—tell the boys, anything you can do I can do better! They are capable of anything they set their minds to. We are also telling them to change themselves. The way they were created, knit together, is not good enough, not pretty enough. I pictured having a daughter one day, and preaching to her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, all the while I am adding on to how God made me.

Conviction clearly hit me. At the same time, make-up can be so fun! I know many people that use make-up as art, and they are so talented--I truly respect that. I felt like a pretty princess on my wedding day, and a lot of that had to do with my hair and make-up! Yet, I should feel like a pretty princess without hair and make-up as well. 

And that is where I have a problem. If I look in the mirror all natural and do not see beautiful, then I’m telling God He did it wrong, and made ugly. I shouldn’t feel like I have to make my lashes longer, skin tanner, scars covered, lips brighter, hair straighter..etc. Our culture has affected me more than I was aware of, and I’m done with it. I will only wear make-up if I want to do it for fun, to add a little sparkle here or there. I will not wear make-up everyday of the week to “hide my ugly” or “put my face on.” Get outta here with that, ladies. Show your strength through your natural beauty, because you really are beautiful just the way you are.

To conclude, here is Ben and I’s new fave song by Alessia Cara: Scars To Your Beautiful

Love from Laura.

The Red Letters

Point Arena, CA

Before 2010, I was a depressed young girl with very little hope in the world. I grew up with working middle class parents, great friends, excelled in a sport every season of the year, did well in school, always had food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. My childhood wasn’t perfect, but from the outside looking in, I had it all. Yet, I wanted none of it. I would sit by a lake in the woods across the street from my front yard and stare at the stillness of nature. The wind was soft, the leaves on the trees would slowly dance, and rocks would just be rocks and not move, which was great. I wished that life would move this slowly, and sometimes still do.

Words are hard for me, but not when I write them down. Poetry became a thing I attempted. One of my last poems I wrote at that time in life was to God. I didn’t know God, I thought He was a made up being that helped people feel better about their unfortunate lives, or just some form of odd government. Either way, I wrote to Him. I begged Him to help me believe in Him if He was actually real. I asked Him to give me hope and faith because it was a very dark place to not have any. I entitled it, “Help me Believe” and that is exactly what He did.

Fast-forward to today, and conviction hits me in the face. Lately, I have been forgetting that God simply asks us to believe. Jesus’ direct words, recorded by His disciples, state to many people, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” These people didn’t say a fancy prayer, go through confirmation, get baptized in the creek, put on their pretty dress, feed 1000 hungry mouths, donate all of their money, lalala, all before they came to him. They had faith, and He saw it, declared it made them well, and said to go in peace. (Mark 5:34, Mark 10:52 , Luke 17:19)

It is then in the Bible that we read it was the JOY set before Him to be beaten, whipped, stabbed, mocked, NAILED to a cross, and killed all to create open access for us to approach our Heavenly Father’s throne of Grace. (Hebrews 12:1-2) He did this knowing so many people would still reject Him, mock Him, and want nothing to do with His unfailing love. That was me before I asked Him to help my unbelief, and I wasn’t the first to do so. (Mark 9: 23-24)

I could go on and on about my story and His coming together, but mainly I wanted to write about this conviction I’ve been having. Yes, initially, beginning a relationship with Jesus starts with faith. THAT’S IT. Faith. But even in our (successful) Earthly relationships we continue to grow in friendship, intimacy, and reverence as time progresses.

I feel, now, as a follower of Christ I haven’t actually been following what He says to do. I want to point fingers at the Church in America that seems to preach comfort and grace alone, and makes Jesus super fluffy and welcoming so that all will want a piece of that pie. But really, I have a Bible, two eyes, and the capacity to read. So please follow me in this if you wish, the words of Jesus are clear if you are to be his disciple (student, follower..etc.) :

Matthew 10:37-39

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Matthew 18:3-5

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,”

John 21:17

“The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep.’”

Luke 12:33

“Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.”

Matthew 28:18-20

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Luke 9:23

“Then he said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.’”

Matthew 22:36-39

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 19:29

“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life."

Luke 6: 27-31

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

Nowhere do I find Jesus saying to store up treasures on Earth and get as much for yourself as you can--stay comfortable.

No, instead there is a common theme of denying selfish ways, humbling yourself, serving, and loving others. Not in vain, but for the sake of Christ. Why would I want to do this? Because Jesus thought I was worth dying for, so I think He is worth living for. The same opportunity to follow Jesus is there for you, my pretty reader friend. All it requires is faith. There is abundant love, grace, and mercy. But, there is also abundant sacrifice, and suffering that may come. I can tell you first hand Jesus is worth it. And I believe eternity in Heaven will be way worth it.

What happens next for Ben and I? Only God knows. I’ll be sure to write about it when He gives me the scoop.

Love from Laura.

Not Every "White Christian" Voted Trump

Navarro River, CA

My husband and I did not.

But to my brothers and sisters in Christ who are so elated about this “win”,

Jesus makes hard commands for us to serve one another, love your neighbor as you love yourself, sell your possessions and give to the needy, lose your life to keep it, find treasure where no moth or rust can destroy it. He lead us by kneeling low, and washing his disciples feet, touching the untouchable, and uplifting the poorest of the poor.

I cannot say the same about our new president. I do not see this as a time of rejoicing, and I am unclear on how anyone professing Jesus could. I understand his opponent wasn’t far behind, please don't misunderstand. But please do consider your words and actions during this time. Consider those of different ethnic diversity and backgrounds than yourself. Those who were born into poverty with an extreme lack of resources. Those less fortunate than you simply because of your skin color and family line. Those in this country on Visa in the midst of their med programs trying to better their own third world countries back home. Those escaping war and terrorism, fighting to survive. Please consider women, like myself, who have been sexually molested or harassed, and now have a president that does the same as their offender.

Please consider the character of Jesus, and how you are treating and viewing others. Is it greater than yourselves? What if you were in their shoes right now? There is a new sense of fear for so many.

Phil 2: 1-8, “Christ's Example of Humility: So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

I shed a few tears today. The state of the America’s heart completely breaks mine.

We have the largest inequality gap out of all developed countries. We are the only ones who do not provide health care and a successful education system to all of our people. We are the only ones who do not provide adequate maternal/paternal leave when babies are born or adopted. We define “poverty” as the amount of food you need times three. And by food I mean ramen noodles, easy mac, and pop tarts-- times THREE. That should cover housing, health care, toiletries, travel, everything you could possibly need, right? Wrong, so very wrong.

So, if you would, please join me in praying the prayer that Jesus taught us:

“Our Father

Who is in Heaven

Hallowed be Your Name

Your kingdom come

Your will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven”

Please pray for humility and wisdom over our new President, and do not let him steal your joy.


Make a difference in those surrounding you, fight for what is right, be kind to one another, look to Jesus, and those on the verge of fleeing the U.S., don't go-- we need you.

Lord have mercy on this nation. 

Love (always love, never hate) from Laura.

Social Media Fast: Here's what I found

I found peace. I found more time with Jesus, and I found more of His character and friendship that I long for. Literally there’s a spiritual center in our brains, and when activated there’s some good stuff all around for our overall well-being.

I found more of my own selfish and destructive character as well. This past month my eyes have been so open to how much of ME I promote. Pretty much every Tuesday and Thursday making the drive to College Park, I listened to either a Francis Chan or Matt Chandler sermon. It felt like my mouth was so dry and hearing God’s word or the truth about this short, short life was like the best glass of cold water I could ask for, really like chugging a gallon of it.

Francis brought up how westernized it is to make a page all about me. Here’s my accomplishments, what I’m studying, who I’m in a relationship with, what I did over the weekend, my photography skills, and how great I am all in one super awesome page. How many likes and followers I get is just a cherry on top! I found that even when I want to give all glory to Jesus, I still want the recognition that Laura gives all glory to Jesus. Bleh, how selfish this flesh of mine is.

This month convicted me, but was so darn refreshing. I thought I was going to use this time to write/ blog more about all these ideas I wanted to talk about and share my opinion on. Promote me. But, don’t worry, I’d point it back to Jesus and how amazing He is!

God told me to stop. Stop posting, stop snapping, stop scrolling for goodness sake. Read with me, talk to me, soak with me. So, that’s what I did. And the freedom I felt in that was so light, and such a burden lifted. He showed me how much I compare with others and what I can so easily find my value in, rather than finding myself in Him—the one who knitted me together and knows every strand of hair on my head. The one who loves me so much that He sent His perfect son Jesus to die on my behalf—to take the bullet for me, jump in front of the moving car for me when I was the one who should have taken the hit.

This life here on Earth is going to go by so fast ya’ll. A blink of an eye and then what? What if it’s tomorrow? How certain are you of where you will be? How satisfied are you of what you’ve accomplished? How many hours of your last day did you spend scrolling and wasting your time, or stressing over silly things? What story will your life tell? How will people remember you?

Jesus drives me to stop for the one. One difference in one life can make a difference in a multitude of lives, or maybe not, maybe just that one, but its one more than before. I encourage you to use your time wisely, seek the God who loves you so so so much, and pursue the dreams He lays on your heart.

I don’t know where this conviction will lead me exactly. I still want to write, and I still want to immerse Jesus in this lovely culture, so I know I can’t hide in a corner and keep to myself everything the Lord gives. I’d honestly like to give it back. Love God, love others—the greatest commandments. What a terrible thing, right? I kid, I kid. We’ll see what happens.

So, yes, sure, I’m {rejoicing in simplicity} but really I’m rejoicing in the fact that the God of this universe loves me, and I get to call Him friend and Dad. You do too, if only you’d believe. Faith is POWERFUL. It changed my dark atheist world right around.

Love from Laura.